How To Be Free
by Melpemone
Summary: Ginny and Luna discuss the merits of upsidedown book reading.


**How To Be Free**

Author: Brigantia (brigantias_fire[@]yahoo.com)

Rating: R

Archive: If you want it, let me know and it's yours.

Spoilers: Order of the Phoenix.

Summary: Ginny and Luna discuss the merits of upside-down book reading. Set while Harry is in Dumbledore's office.   

Disclaimer: All recognisable characters (i.e., all of them) belong to J K Rowling.  The lyrics quoted at the beginning belong to Heather Nova.

Feedback: Yes please!

A/N:  Second in my Order of the Phoenix Bonus Scenes series, but is completely unrelated to the other one. 

~*~

_And I'm sucked in by the wonder and I'm fucked up by the lies  
And I dig a hole to climb in and I build some wings to fly  
And I think that I could love you 'cause you know how to be free  
I want you to come walk this world with me._

~*~

The Hogwarts infirmary was slightly chilled, and oddly shadowed from the rising sun peeking through the windows.  Ginny lay, propped up on pillows, one leg straight and elevated and the other bent, where she rested her book.  Goosebumps prickled her bare arms, but she wasn't about to trouble Madam Pomfrey from Ron's bedside for a blanket.  Her ankle ached dully, and strands of hair had escaped her braid, falling over her eyes and glinting orange in the weak sunlight.

  
The book was interesting enough – a gift from Michael, presented to her shyly and with much fumbling and excuse-making – but the words refused to register.  She held it up in front of her face more firmly, determinedly fixating on the page.  She would _not_ think about Ron, she would _not _think about Hermione, she would _not_ think about Death Eaters and floating planets and screams of pain and rage…

It was no use.  Ginny sighed and propped the book open, face down on her chest, and rubbed at her eyes.  This was hopeless.  How was she supposed to concentrate on her book when Ron lay five beds down, possibly permanently scrambled by that brain thing, and Hermione could be dying?  And…

And Tom had been there.  She could _feel it somehow, and that was the most frightening thing of all.  She could feel the creeping coldness, the gaping echo in her mind, the __pretty Ginny, don't fret, tell your Tom all about it…_

Ginny suppressed a violent shudder, forcing down the nausea as she had done a thousand times before.  _Fine.__  Everything's just fine.  You're fine.  He's not here; He won't come for you again.  Breathe._

No, He wouldn't concern himself with little Ginny Weasley again.  Harry was his priority now.  And Harry was strong, and brave – perhaps too brave – and would stand firm, and not crumble like some stupid weak child just by being in the same building as Him, be distracted by His presence crawling across his skin, break his ankle and have to be dragged away…

And it was wrong, so horribly, sickeningly _wrong_ to want that cold focus on her.

And that was the problem, wasn't it?  Tom had listened, Tom had cared, Tom had understood.  And _dammit _Ginny, Tom had tried to drain you of your life, Tom left you with nightmares that still leave you trembling and sick and tingling with anticipation and wet and panting and _Merlin, you're sick, Virginia Weasley._

Ginny took a deep breath, and blew it out slowly.  No use going over it again and again.  Time heals all wounds, and so on.  You're fine, everything's just fine.

Footsteps were approaching the bed.  She looked up to see Luna Lovegood stepping haphazardly between the rows of beds – she looked as if she were trying to avoid the fractures in the stones.  Ginny had to smile – Luna was cracked, but she was a fun sort of cracked (_not like you – oh, shut up_).

Luna stopped beside her bed, and unceremoniously deposited herself next to her broken foot.  Ginny winced in anticipation of pain, but apparently the numbing potion was still in effect.

"Hello, Ginny," Luna announced. "I've come to keep you company."

Ginny smiled warmly.  If ever there was an excellent distraction, Luna was it.  "It's good to see you.  Were you hurt?  I don't remember."

"No, I'm all right."  Luna stared at her with those unblinking silvery eyes.  In the pale sunlight, she looked almost ghostly, elbow length blonde tangles framing an alabaster face.  "Harry's in the Headmaster's office.  He's been there for hours.  I think he may have fought with You-Know-Who.  He was there, apparently."

"Yeah, I know." Ginny mumbled before she could catch herself.  But Luna merely raised one eyebrow, and focused just a little more intently on Ginny's face, as if she were a particularly interesting bug.  

"What's the book?" Luna reached over and plucked the thick novel from Ginny's chest.

"Oh, just something Michael gave me.  A romance, knight on shining unicorn rescues helpless maiden from the clutches of evil, that sort of… thing."  Ginny trailed off, realising how that sounded.  

Luna blinked slowly, once, and then turned the novel upside down and tilted it toward the light.  "Michael, huh?  That Michael Corner?" she said distractedly, frowning a little at the book.

"Yeah, he's my, uh, boyfriend."  Ginny braced herself for the reaction – her friends in Gryffindor had been ridiculously, girlishly excited at the news that she had a boyfriend; probably a little more than seemed natural.  But there was nothing, Luna simply scooted along the bed, closer to the window, and frowned harder.

"Luna… um, I don't mean to offend, but… why do you look at books upside down?"  Ginny chewed her bottom lip, not wanting to send Luna away - she suddenly craved the company, like air – but overcome with curiosity.  Why hadn't she asked before?  Oh, that's right, she hadn't cared.

Luna smiled suddenly, abruptly shifting her focus from the book back to Ginny.  The expression lit up her slate-grey eyes and brightened her entire face.  Ginny blinked at the change.  "I'm looking for the messages," she said solemnly, although still sparkling. "See? Look." 

Luna thrust the book at her face, causing Ginny to flinch and recoil slightly.  The pages stopped an inch from her nose, and Ginny tried to refocus, going a little cross-eyed in the attempt.

"No, you're not looking at it right.  You're trying to see it like you normally do.  Stop reading."  There was command in Luna's voice now, and she was surprised at the strength of it.  Ginny suddenly wanted to see the other girl's face, but the book was held firmly in her field of view.  Instead, she gazed at the mess of blurred words in front of her – and that's all it was, a blur.

"Luna, I don't see anything."

"You're trying too hard."

"But _how -"_

"Like this!" Luna shifted suddenly, bringing her knees up next to her on the bed.  The book tilted slightly, moved a little back, and suddenly the blur reformed itself into a vague image of a girl, with long wild tangled curls of elaborate _gs and __ys, her head tilted upwards and to the left.  Ginny gasped and blinked hard, and the image was lost._

Luna suddenly laughed, a delighted trilling sound that seemed to fill the room.  "That's it!" she chuckled, and snatched the book away, slamming it shut with a muted, triumphant _thud_.  Ginny felt a grin forming in the face of Luna's pleased expression.

"You saw, didn't you?  You saw your message?  No, don't tell me, that one was for you.  The messages, Ginny, you only have to know how to look."

"It's like… looking for pictures in the clouds, isn't it?"

"It's the same thing!" Luna's voice dropped to an intent whisper, although the delight was still there.  "The messages, they show the connections we're making, and the connections are everywhere.  It's like big long glowing strings - no!"  Luna leaned forward, serious now, the passion in her expression overwhelming.  "It's like Buzzing Firefairies, they leave invisible red trails in their wake, and it seems like it hasn't got a pattern, but it _does_.  You look for your messages, and you see where your trails are going.  We're all connected like this, where we've been, where we're headed.  Isn't it wonderful?"

"So… we leave trails from where we've been? Who we've been with?" Ginny didn't know what to make of this – normally she would have laughed it off, considered it more of Luna's weirdness, but in the presence of the other's girl's intensity, it seemed anything was possible.

"Yes!" Luna leaned closer again, bracing her hands next to Ginny's hips.  Her hair swung around and brushed delicately against Ginny's knee, setting off goosebumps.  "Not just where we've been, but where we're going to go.  People who are important to you, your house mates, everyone at the school, the shop owners in Hogsmeade, the _world_, Ginny."

"And… are some connections stronger than others'?"  Ginny breathed, staring intently back into Luna's eyes, so close to her face.  "Can you break them?" _Am I connected to Tom forever? is what she wanted to ask, but in this fervour, this sudden flushing heat, He suddenly seemed far away._

"Yes," Luna whispered, closer again, her breath tickling Ginny's ear. "Yes, you can break them, but you don't have to.  We make more connections all the time, every day, and old ones are buried under the new ones.  Love is so much stronger than hate, and pleasure is brighter than pain." Ginny closed her eyes, feeling pulled under by Luna's presence, by the points of heat on her ear, over her stomach, next to her hips.  She opened her mouth slightly, needing air, needing to breathe in this warmth.  "We're all together, Virginia Weasley. No one's alone, not really."

Ginny opened her eyes, and turned her head.  Luna hovered above her, passionate grey eyes, riotous blonde tangles, pale skin, crooked blue and silver tie.  Ginny reached up without thinking and brushed her fingers against Luna's cheek, feeling the chill leave her completely, and Luna returned the gesture, another point of heat against her face.

"Not alone, Ginny," she said quietly, and brushed a soft kiss, barely there, on her lips.

Ginny closed her eyes once more, savouring the sensation, the soft breath on her face.  It was chaste, but it set her face warm, her palate tingling, her whole body on fire.  She could feel herself falling…

And the warmth was gone.  Luna sat back on the bed, and put the book on the bedside table.  She smiled brightly, and Ginny, shell-shocked, could only gaze back.

"My father's written a report on Buzzing Firefairies.  I could lend it to you, if you want."

Ginny blinked, trying to get her bearings back.  "That… that would be great, Luna, thanks."

"All right, then.  Well, the sun is up.  I'd better get back to my dorm.  Good seeing you, hope you're feeling better soon."  And with that she turned with a flourish, skirt twirling, and skipped erratically back between the beds and out the door.

Ginny watched her go.  _New connections, she thought, and smiled._

-fin-


End file.
